When I was younger I had a hard time forgiving those who wronged me, and letting go came very hard to me. I never really learned to let go until recently, I realized that it is very important to let go, specially for your health, resentment can do a number on your immune system, there is a slew of psychosomatic deceases that come form not dealing with issues correctly. I said that I forgave someone but I still hang on to resentment. Saying I am sorry sometimes it is in the surface but have you really let the issue go? Be honest! Most of us don’t, especially when something that was truly unforgivable was done to us!
Well, you don’t really have to continue a relationship with someone that has done something unforgivable to you! As a matter of fact it would be unhealthy to do so, but you can always let it go!
One day I was reading healing blogs and I came across this amazing blog post that completely changed my view on forgiveness, I was forever changed. The word is Ho”oponopono and it is the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, it was used and taught by the indigenous healers, the way Ho’oponopono works is that you have to understand that nothing happens outside of you, what i mean by that is that situations that happen to us are lessons that we need to learn at that exact moment. There are issues that we do not deal with for years and so your soul knows exactly what situations need to happen in order for you to learn and deal with the issue.
Think of life as a video game, once you are done with level one, you move to the second level where the difficulty goes up, so to move from level to level you learn new lessons to sharpen your skills so that you can move up in the game. So you finally need to learn about betrayal, so you get a lesson by experiencing it with your lover or a really good friend, we always tend to have a huge fight followed by sometimes a break up or a fallen out, walking away wounded and without learning the lesson because we put ourselves automatically in the victim position, so guess what happens next, we didn’t learn the lesson and we get another one down the road! And we never get off the Hamster wheel! So Ho’opnopono helped me to stop the wheel so that I can finally get off, and my life was forever changed!
This is how Ho’oponopono works:
-So taking responsibility for what happened is the first step, even if you did not start the issue, you are directly responsible actually because it was a lesson that you needed to learn so in a way you made it happen, remember the nothing is outside of yourself, everything that happens in your immediate environment is you who created it the issue, so say I’M SORRY out loud, you will feel resistance at first for this, but as you practice more and more you will start to understand it better and you will release resistance to it!
-Then you ask for forgiveness, during the argument things were probably said and feelings got hurt so say out loud when you are by yourself PLEASE FORGIVE ME, you can even say it to the other party if you feel like you are up for it! Repeat it a few times and really mean it!
-The next step is showing gratitude THANK YOU, say thank you out loud as you acknowledge that this was a lesson and that you are truly grateful for what you have learned!
Our soul is an infinite being, therefore all knowing, so in order to learn your lessons and advance spiritually it knows what situations to put as in so that we can learn the art of compassion and unconditional love, that is all that we come here to learn! When you finally learn to have compassion and feel love to even those who wronged us it is when you truly learn the lesson and you finally get off the Karmic wheel! They have taught us in the media, movies and sometimes even our parents have said that this is a a harsh world, that we need to toughen up, it is a Dog eat Dog world. Well I am here to tell you that it isn’t, and to live that way is to set yourself up for suffering for the rest of your life, and to not learn your lessons, so you keep reincarnating over and over, carrying the Karma from your past lives, It is truly time to stop and really take the lessons in, imagine life as being in the best possible Ivy League School and that we are here learning the best possible lessons to help us grow spiritually, and the value in that is incredible! So the first step is to let go of the idea that you are a victim of your circumstances and remove the “Why me?” attitude and begin to take responsibility for all that happens to you, take in this amazing lessons.
Most of us at one point or another become the victims of our triggers, so we automatically react in anger, or fear, then afterwards we feel guilt for the way that we reacted. So the next time that you get triggered use Ho’oponopono and gradually you will learn to be proactive and not reactive and you will find that you have matured in the way that you react or handle situations, so the Karmic lessons stop being so hard because you are starting to finally grow, therefore life will get easier and you will learn to navigate through it with ease and things will start getting peaceful and the lessons will lessen overtime.
Now another way of learning to have compassion towards those who wronged you is to truly see them for what they are, what I mean by that is that people who inflict pain unto others is because they are in pain themselves, so the best way to understand the pain that they are in imagine them as a small child and feel the pain that they are feeling. It makes it so much easier to forgive and also it brings you into the space of compassion!
I hope that this will give you a better understanding on letting go and feeling compassion for those who wronged us so that we can finally become a better version of ourselves and truly take in those lessons that our soul and the Universe have so carefully picked for us so that we can become our best selves.
I am sending you all lots of Love! I love you! Have a fantastic weekend!